She's the Tom
by CyrusBryn
Summary: CHAPTER 4 IS UP! From the movie, She's the Man, I bring you, She's the Tom. Using characters that I saw fit into the personalities of the movie characters, I have created this. I followed the dialogue from the movie as closely as I could. Hope you like!
1. Character playlist and Chapter 1

**She's the Man Characters:**

Viola Hastings

Sebastian Hastings

Duke Orsino

Olivia Lennox

Toby

Andrew

Paul Antonio

Kia

Yvonne

Coach Dinklage

Headmaster Gold

Daphne Hastings

Malcolm Feste

Monique Valentine

Eunice Bates

Maria

Justin Drayton

Coach Pistonek

**Cats Characters:**

Rumpleteazer-Viola Hastings

Mungojerrie-Sebastian Hastings

Griddlebone-Monique Valentine

Alonzo-Duke Orsino

Bombalurina-Olivia Lennox

Jennyanydots-Daphne Hastings

Skimbleshanks-Coach Dinklage

Bustopher Jones-Headmaster Gold

Demeter-Maria

Etcetera-Eunice Bates

Admetus-Malcolm Feste

Electra-Kia

Jemima-Yvonne

Mistoffelees-Paul Antonio

Pouncival-Andrew

Plato-Toby

Tumblebrutus-Justin Drayton

Asparagus-Coach Pistonek

* * *

Cats all over gathered at the beach to play beach soccer. Rumpleteazer was the one with the ball. She swiftly dodged the other players and scored a goal which was praised by howling and jumping in excitement. Her boyfriend Tumblebrutus came to her and picked her up and walked with her over his shoulder to a towel. He sets her down on the towel lying half way on top of her, "You're getting really good."

"Aw you too, I mean when we first going out you couldn't kiss at all."

Tumblebrutus laughs quietly, "I meant at soccer."

"Oh really?" Rumpleteazer replied with a smile.

"Absolutely. You're already better than half the guys on my team."

"Hmm…probably more than half." She grabs the back of his neck and pulls him closer for a kiss. The kiss continued until a few short seconds later Tumblebrutus pulled away, "What do you mean I couldn't kiss at all?"

Rumpleteazer giggles at his confused yet attracted face, "Don't worry I've taught you well."

Rumpleteazer and her friend Jemima walked to soccer practice while talking. They talked about what college would be best suited for the best soccer play time.

"I mean seriously don't you think that you'll have better play time at a school like Lake Michigan?"

"Yeah maybe but it's always been about being a target for me. I'm going to wear that Carolina blue."

Jemima nudged Rumpleteazer playfully, "Hey."

When they reached the field they noticed right away that the Lacrosse team was playing when and where they were supposed to. "Okay what is the Lacrosse team doing on our field?"

Electra had been running to catch up with them and when Rumpleteazer and Jemima stopped she came up to them and held out a clipboard saying, "The school board cut our team."

"Wait what?" Rumpleteazer asked shocked.

"Not enough girls signed up." Electra said holding the clipboard so Rumpleteazer could see the paper.

"So they just cut us?" Rumpleteazer asked getting angry.

"They can't do that." Jemima put in.

All three of them looked around at the Lacrosse team when finally Rumpleteazer spoke up, "Okay this is not over." A whistle was blown and Rumpleteazer looked to see Coach Skimbleshanks. They walk up behind him and he greets them before they have a chance to say again, "Hi girls heard the bad news."

"Bad? It's a disaster." Rumpleteazer said.

"Now college scouts won't even get to see us play." Jemima said showing her frustration. The other girls around agreed with head nods or vocal agreement.

"I know. If there's anything I do just say the word." All this time Coach Skimbleshanks wasn't even looking at them his eyes were glued to the boys playing on the field.

"As a matter of fact there is." Rumpleteazer said to him, "We want to try out for the boy's team."

Coach Skimbleshanks started laughing but then looked down at Rumpleteazer and stopped, "Uh…anything besides that." He said in a serious tone.

"Coach come on you know that we're good enough!" Rumpleteazer yelled finally blowing over.

"I don't know if that's a thing that I know." He quickly noticed that he sounded off and his eyebrows came closer together to show that emotion.

"All we're asking for is one shot." Rumpleteazer said in a calmer voice. The other girls agreed with her.

"Girls, we have two weeks before school starts, and we open against Illyria, a rivalry game. We have to win."

"And we can help you win." Rumpleteazer said looking at Coach Skimbleshanks in the eyes.

"Hey baby," Tumblebrutus said jogging over to her.

"Hey." Rumpleteazer greeted back with a smile.

"What's going on Coach?" He asked as the other boy players gathered around him.

"Uh, the girls here want to try out for the team." He said crossing one arm over his chest and with the other held his whistle come to his mouth. Rumpleteazer looked hopefully to her boyfriend but the look quickly faded when he and the other boys started laughing.

"Seriously?"

"Alright alright, look you're all excellent players, but girls aren't as fast as boys." The boys agreed and the girls looked disgusted, "Or strong, or athletic," he looked at Tumblebrutus who nodded at him. "That is not me talking." He said seriously to the girls, "It's a scientific fact. Girls can't beat boys; it's as simple as that." He looked at Rumpleteazer.

"Okay well Tumblebrutus you're the team captain, what'd you think about it?" She said looking at her boyfriend.

Tumblebrutus looked at his Coach then back at his girlfriend, "I think that Coach said it all."

"Yesterday you told me that I was better than half the guys on your team." At that the other boys voiced their confusion and looked at Tumblebrutus. He turned his head left to right then looked back at his girlfriend, "I never said that."

Taken back by what he said Rumpleteazer became very upset, "What are you talking about? Why are you lying?"

"Rumpleteazer…end of discussion." Tumblebrutus said interrupting her before she could say more.

"Fine. End of relationship." Rumpleteazer started walking away when Tumblebrutus said to her, "Come on baby don't be like that. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Aw," Rumpleteazer smiles at him, "you are so full of-" The rest of her sentence was drowned out by Coach Skimbleshanks' whistle blow. Rumpleteazer threw the ball at Tumblebrutus' head while Coach Skimbleshanks said, "Back to practice!"

* * *

Rumpleteazer was walking to her house door listening to her music not noticing Griddlebone's calls at her. Griddlebone finally catches up with her and turns her around only to show a face of disgust, "Eww... It's you. God you and your brother look scary alike from the back. I think it's your total lack of curves."

"Hey Griddlebone, it's so good to see you too!" Rumpleteazer said with a slight roll of the eyes.

"Hmm. I'm looking for Mungojerrie. Where is he?" Griddlebone asked.

Rumpleteazer thought a quick second, "I don't know."

"Just remind your brother how lucky he is to be in my life. And tell him to give me a call if he wants to stay in it, okay?"

"Okay. Does he have your number? 1-800-BEE-OTCH?" Rumpleteazer said then laughed at herself.

Griddlebone mimicked her, "Nyenyenyenyenyeh?" And walked away back to her car.

Rumpleteazer watched her go, "She will do great things."

* * *

Walking into the house she was greeted by her mother.

"I have a surprise for you." Jenny said smiling largely.

"All this is why I don't bring friends over." Rumpleteazer said to herself. "Mom not now, I had a really bad day so I don't want to…"

"Just a minute this will perk you up," She covered her daughter's eyes and walked her a few feet into the house. Removing her hands she went to the couch and told her daughter to open her eyes, "Surprise," Rumpleteazer's smile faded into a frown and eye roll faster than she could say bye.

"Beautiful gowns for my beautiful darling debutant."

"Mom, have I not told you a thousand times I have no interest in being a debutant. It's totally archaic."

"How can I wind up with a daughter who only wants to kick a muddy ball around a field all day?"

Rumpleteazer sighed, "The world has been sent right mom, they cut my team." She started for the stairs. Her mother followed after her, "What no soccer?"

"Yeah that's right no soccer." Rumpleteazer said over her shoulder.

Jennyanydots grabbed a dress from the coach and followed her daughter to the bottom of the stairs, "How sad."

"Yeah I see you're all torn up."

Her mother smiled and handled the dress, "Well Tumblebrutus is going to love you in this."

"Yet another reason not to wear it. I dumped him." She started up the stairs.

Her mother looked confused and concerned, "What but why? He's so handsome, and rugged, and chiseled, and great…"

"Then why don't you date him mom?" Rumpleteazer said walking down the hallway after she reached the top of the stairs.

Jennyanydots fantasized for a moment then giggles, "Oh no…I couldn't." Then goes on continuing the rest of her daily activities.

* * *

"Hey Mungojerrie," Rumpleteazer greeted as she walked into her brother's room.

"Hey," He replied not stopping his packing.

"You okay?" She asked sitting on his bed.

"Yeah," He said looking down at the floor gathering his clothes.

"Griddlebone was looking for you," The tone in her voice clearly showed that she was annoyed by her.

"Hmm…" Mungojerrie said giving a sickened look at her.

"Why do you even date her anyway?"

He picked up some clothes and stuffed them into a bag, "She's hot." He smiled at his sister. Rumpleteazer looked at his with displeased eyes and Mungojerrie quickly said, "It's a guy thing." Then he went back to gathering his clothes.

"But she's so awful,"

Mungojerrie laughed and threw his bag out the window.

"You know you could use the front door." Rumpleteazer said pointing to the bedroom door.

"And mom can't see me. Mom thinks I'm staying at dad's, dad thinks I'm staying at mom's and in two days they both think that I'm going away for school." He looked at his sister while he packed up his guitar, "That is the beauty of divorce."

"Wait, where are you going?" She asked leaning against his head board.

"New York, for a couple of weeks," He took his guitar and tied a rope to the handle.

"As in New York, New York?" She asked sitting up.

He stopped and rested the guitar on the window sill and looked at her, "Yeah my band got a slot in the music festival there."

"Okay what are you going to do about school?" She asked confused.

Mungojerrie lowered his guitar out the window and turned his head to face her while doing it, "Yeah, I was kinda hoping you could help me with that. Could you like pretend to be mom and call Illyria and tell them I'm sick. Something good that sounds like it would last a couple weeks. Like uh…mad cow."

"Mungojerrie, you just got kicked out of Cornwell for skipping this is not exactly the way you want to start out."

"Hey I wanna be musician okay? Last time I heard they don't need to know trigonometry besides if you want to chase your dreams, sometimes you have to break the rules right?" He leaned out the window and started to climb onto the roof.

"Do you know the percentage of bands that actual make it to the big time?"

"Probably the same as female soccer players," He said with one leg still in the room then completely got onto the roof, "I will see you in two weeks." He jumped down from the roof.

"Mungojerrie," Rumpleteazer said then heard the cry of pain as Mungojerrie hit the ground, "MUNGOJERRIE!" She yelled still looking at the window.

"Were you just talking to your brother?" Asked her mom from the doorway. Rumpleteazer looked at her, "No, yes, on the phone, he's at dad's" she picked up the phone, "bye dad…" she said then put it back on the base.

"Picture this, we're at the Country Club, they call your name and you emerge in this. Tada!" She held the dress against her and lifted one end.

Rumpleteazer made a gagging sound, "Sorry mom I have a strict no ruffles policy."

Her mom lowered the dress from her body and watched her daughter as she walked to her brother's dresser, "Sometimes I think you just might as well be your brother." She said then left the room.

Rumpleteazer walked in front of the mirror and took the picture from the mirror. She studied it then looked at herself, "You know what? If you can't join em, beat em."

Mistoffelees laughs as he asks the question to be sure he's hearing right, "You want me to turn you into your brother?"

"That's right! I'm going to Illyria as Mungojerrie, I'm going to make the boys soccer team there, and then in 12 days, I'm going to beat the Cornwall boys team!" Rumpleteazer said.

"Okay, you've taken way too many soccer balls to the head." Mistoffelees said pointing at her.

Rumpleteazer rolls her eyes at him, "You know I can do it Mistoffelees,"

Mistoffelees quickly replied back, "Yeah expect for the voice, and mannerisms, and the breasts, and the mentality and the,"

"Besides it doesn't matter," Jemima cut in, "nobody in Illyria has even met Mungojerrie, they wouldn't know the difference."

"They'll know he's a girl," Mistoffelees said twirling his paw in the air.

"Oh come on Mistoffelees," Rumpleteazer pouted.

"Yeah come on Mistoffelees," Jemima and Electra said at the same time after Rumpleteazer.

Mistoffelees looks at them then rolls his eyes, "Okay, okay, I'll see what I can do."

Rumpleteazer, Jemima, and Electra all exchange excited looks and verbal happiness.

After countless hours of picking and choosing what hair, facial hair, and clothes Rumpleteazer should wear to best look the part of her brother and following other toms around town to get the walk, talk, and voice right, she was finished.

Walking down the stairs with her bags of clothes and soccor gear she walked to the door. Her mother was sitting at the dining room table, "Where are you going?"

Rumpleteazer didn't turn around, "Mom I told you I'm going to dad's for 2 weeks."

"No you didn't and you're not going." Jenny said and Rumpleteazer turned to her, "We've hardly spent any time together this summer now you just go upstairs and unpack."

Rumpleteazer had walked over to her mother, "Okay mom, I thought about what you said and you know that Griddlebone is going to be there 24/7 with Mungojerrie so I don't know I was just thinking that maybe she could show me the ropes on the whole debutant thing."

Jenny stood, "Oh this is so exciting."

Rumpleteazer faked her happiness, "I know." She smiled at her mother.

"You are going to have so much fun." Jenny said walking her daughter to the door. "Now there's the formal ball or course and the lunch in and did I mention the fund raiser next week? It's going to be a carnival."

Rumpleteazer wasn't really paying attention to her mother's words and when Jenny stopped Rumpleteazer looked up at her then opened her mouth wide and said, "Get out!"

"Now you're brother promised to be there so remind him when you see him alright?"

"Okay," Rumpleteazer nodded smiling at her mother.

"Oh my little girl," Jenny said hugging Rumpleteazer. "You're finally going to be a lady."

Rumpleteazer smiled one last time at her mother then walked to the door not really believing her mother let her go that easy.


	2. Chapter 2

Getting out of a pale green bug with Mistoffelees in the driver's seat, Rumpleteazer got out and straightened her tie. Then she turned around quickly at Mistoffelees who was just getting out of the car, "Wait, are you sure I can do this?"

"Oh yeah, absolutely," Mistoffelees said.

Rumpleteazer grabbed her bags. Looking back at the school, a few toms walked by and one greeted her. She said hi back then suddenly turned back to Mistoffelees, "Oh my God he knew!"

Mistoffelees and Rumpleteazer had a brief fight over weather of not she could do it and finally Mistoffelees convinced Rumpleteazer everything was going to alright.

Getting out of the car Mistoffelees, "He was being friendly." Then looked at Rumpleteazer who was looking around nervously, "Now let's run through it one more time, let me hear the voice,"

Rumpleteazer cleared her throat, "Hey, what's up, I'm Mungojerrie."

"Okay, now show me the strut,"

Rumpleteazer did her walk and went back to Mistoffelees, "Now hack a loogie," Rumpleteazer did and looked surprised.

Mistoffelees held his arms out and said, "I'm so proud!"

The two hugged for a brief moment then Rumpleteazer pulled away and hit Mistoffelees in the arm, "Get off of me,"

"Remember, inside every girl there's a boy." Mistoffelees' eyebrows came together, "That came out wrong, but you know what I mean."

Rumpleteazer started walking away, "Teazer," Mistoffelees tossed her soccer ball, "Be a good boy."

Rumpleteazer smiled at him then continued walking to the school.

* * *

Finding her room was no easy task. With dodging trumpets, balls, and strange glances, she barely had enough energy left in her. Coming to the hallway then lead to her room she gave herself a pep talk, "I can do this, I am a dude, I'm a hunky dude, I'm a bad ass hunky dude," Smiling quickly then continuing her smile faded quickly when a ball was thrown almost directly at her face. Rushing to get to her room, she fumbled with the keys then slammed the door shut behind her only to be greeted by three toms.

"Hey," she said girly, "hey what up?" she deepened her voice. She looked at her keys then dropped them, "You must be my roommates," She said.

The tom that didn't have his shirt on laughed, "Wh-what's your name?"

"Mungojerrie,"

"Alonzo," They shook hands then Rumpleteazer pulled him in and hugged him. Alonzo tried to pull away before the other two toms in the room noticed but they did.

"Okay okay okay," Alonzo finally pulled away, he pointed at the two toms, "This is Pouncival and Plato, they live next door."

"Yeah, freshmen's dorms are that away, twiglet," Plato said.

"Seriously, how old are you?" Pouncival asked.

"I skipped a couple grades. I'm brilliant, shhh," Rumpleteazer said. She went to sit on the bed, but missed a little. Getting on the bed quickly, she noticed Alonzo never took his eyes out her as she was stumbling.

"Anyway, do you know when soccer tryouts start?"

"Noon, you play?" Alonzo said.

"Absolutely, center forward, you know bra," She turned around and started unpacking her stuff, "So a do you play the beautiful game? Bro? Brothers? Brethren?"

Alonzo sighed and laughed at the same time, "Yeah, I'm a striker, Plato and Pouncival are halfbacks."

"Sweet."

While she was unpacking her boot with the tampons she put in feel out.

"Why do you have tampons in your boot?" Alonzo asked.

Plato turned around and stood up next to Alonzo. Pouncival stood on the other side of him. Rumpleteazer was at a loss for words. Thinking of something to say, "I get really bad nose bleeds,"

"So you stick them up your nose?" Plato questioned.

"Yeah," she turned around with one in her hand, "what? You you've never done that?"

The toms shook their heads.

"Oh my, Beckham does it all the time,"

"Serious?" Alonzo asked.

"Yes," Rumpleteazer said, "Look, let me show you how to do it. You take that off," she threw something to the ground, "and whatever that is," she threw another part of it to the ground, "and you stick right in, it absorbs right up." She said as she stuck it in her nose.

The toms laughed at her and Alonzo said, "That's disgusting."

Plato slapped Alonzo's arm, "Dude your roommate's a freak." And continued laughing.


	3. Chapter 3

"Let's start this season out we finished the last," Coach Asparagus' voice rang through the boy's ears, "Sharp!" He continued walking down the row of boys, "What are you, the runt of the family?" He questioned one tom who was short with a blonde hair. Walking past Rumpleteazer and locking his eyes on a large sweating tom, he said nothing just looked at him. The smile on the tom's face faded as the Coach said nothing. Turning around to the rest of the boys, "Okay, shirts and skins," He was about to blow the whistle when Rumpleteazer cut in, "Pardon me sir, I have to be a shirt,"

"What?" Coach Asparagus said as he lowered the whistle from his mouth.

"I'm allergic to the sun,"

"You're allergic to sun?" Coach said in a questioning tone.

"Very very deathly allergic,"

"We like to accommodate here at Illyria, so I'll follow you around with a parasol. Alright, Nancy boy?" Looking at his clipboard, "you're a shirt." Rumpleteazer nods at him then he turns around, "Okay guys let's go," He blows his whistle to start.

Rumpleteazer practiced her legs, lungs, and eyes out. She never dreamed that tryouts would be _that_ hard. As the boys finished up with push-ups, Rumpleteazer was lying on the ground unable to lift herself, even if she wanted to.

"At ease gentlemen," Coach Asparagus said as he walked through the center line of the two rows of boys. Rumpleteazer sat herself up, "I've seen a lot of energy and commitment out there today, and makes a coach proud, now I want to split us up into first stringers and second stringers. You second stringers, don't take it too hard, you're just as much part of this team then the first stringers, part from of course, playing the game part. Shooter, Hanz, Patenshik, Donner," Grabbing the last yellow penny from the cart he walks over to Rumpleteazer, "Hastings, second stringers, the rest of you congratulations, first stringers. Now hit the showers!" Rumpleteazer was disappointed that she didn't make first stringers but continued to the locker room with the rest of the boys.

Walking into the locker room, Patenshik said, "Shower time,"

Rumpleteazer stopped walking and looked scared and confused, "Shower time?" Turning to leave she walks right into Plato who had a towel wrapped around his waist then into Pouncival as she tried again to get out of the place. Someone handed her towel and her face was pure terror, "Hastings! No shower for you!"

Turning around this a smile on her face then fading it, "Okay,"

"Principal Jones wants to see you in his office,"

Rumpleteazer threw the towel at the coach and before running straight of the door she looked back at the coach then continued. Taking off her chest wrappings Rumpleteazer talked to herself, "It's over, it's done, they know." Pulling the wrapping out she went again to pull the rest of it out when she saw a file cabinet, "Mungojerrie's file," She made her way to the file cabinet. Opening it she searched there it, finding it she asked herself, "Could it be any bigger?"

The door opened, "Mister Hastins,"

"Yes?" Rumpleteazer went over to greet his but the wrapping got caught as she closed the cabinet and was thrown back into it. Lifting her arm and resting her head in her hand, she smiled and watched the principal come in.

"Bustopher Jones, Headmaster, so very pleased to meet you," He bowed a walked over to her.

"Hello sir heard you wanted to see me," She shook hands with him. She threw her yellow penny over her shoulder to hide the wrapping that was showing.

"I'd like to say welcome. Welcome to Illyria, welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome to Illyria. I just wanted to have you in to say welcome. See how you're doing." All this time Rumpleteazer was trying to pull her wrapping out from the cabinet with no luck.

"I'm doing great," clearing her throat, "just busy being a guy,"

"Being a guy yeah," Principal Jones said still looking at her, "well let's take a look at your file Mungojerrie,"

Principal Jones tried opening the cabinet but it wouldn't. Rumpleteazer tried to pull her wrapping out but it wouldn't move. After a few tense filled seconds Rumpleteazer hit the top of the cabinet and it flew open. Taking a few steps back from Principal Jones, she stuffed her wrapping back into her shirt and fixed her hair. Principal Jones took her file and set it on his desk, then turned to Rumpleteazer, "Alright you're busted,"

Rumpleteazer turned around to face him looking scared, "I know you don't want to sit here and talk to the Headmaster but I'm not going to take no for an answer, now have a sit in the Headmaster's chair. Come on have a sit," Rumpleteazer towards the chair, "Sit it,"

Rumpleteazer sat down and Principal Jones sat on the desk, "So Mungojerrie Hastings, how do you like campus?"

"Beautiful," Rumpleteazer replied.

"Being inspired," he turned and picked up an emblem. "by the charcoal black and candy apple red?"

"You know it," She knocked on it and Principal Jones pulled it back to him, "Hey don't touch it, ever. Do not do that." Standing he put the emblem back, "You know Mungojerrie, I was a transfer student myself," leaping up and sitting on the back of the chair on the other side of the desk, "back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth."

He laughed and Rumpleteazer smirked, "So I keep a special interest on the transfer students that come to this school. Act as a unofficial big brother, an don't be surprised if I pop in unannounced from time to time just to check up,"

"Yeah, I look forward to it," Rumpleteazer said trying very hard not to show her discomfort and panic.

"Now scoot," Principal Jones pointed towards the door. Rumpleteazer got up and ran to the door. Opening it and shutting it then turning around she ran into someone. The person she ran into fell over and knock her books all over the ground, "Sorry," Rumpleteazer said as she bent down to help her.

"It's okay don't worry about it," The girl said starting to gather her stuff.

"What is going on out here?" Principal Jones asked as he opened the door. Seeing Rumpleteazer and the girl kneeling on the ground close to one another he smiled, "oh, getting to know the opposite sex are we? Male female dynamics, and all that, sexual tension, it's all part of the High School experience," Rumpleteazer looked confused and really wanted him to stop talking. She glanced over at the girl then back at the teacher. The girl looked at her with lust in her eyes, "continue please, but keep it clean though, abstinence is key. Abstinence's is the best way to not is to not," Laughing at himself he turned and went back into his office.

The girl looked at her and laughed, Rumpleteazer shook her head, "Is he always that friendly?"

"Are you kidding, that's him being rude," Rumpleteazer grabbed some of her books and stood up, the girl did the same shortly after. Looking down at the girl's shoes Rumpleteazer said, "Oh cute shoes,"

"You think so?" The girl looked down at them, "I got them at Anthropology,"

"No way, they have shoes there?" Rumpleteazer asked completely forgetting she is supposed to be a guy.

"Oh yeah, right by the accessories,"

"Huh?" Rumpleteazer said fairly high pitched. She then realized what she just talked about, "Here are your books," She tried very hard to sound like a guy, "I guess I better go take care of some guy stuff," the girl hadn't stopped looking at her, "Okay," she said softly. Rumpleteazer walked away and the girl's gaze did not leave her until she was out of site.

* * *

Handing Rumpleteazer an apple and a sandwich Principal Jones smiled, "Here ya go, have a great apple and sandwich," Rumpleteazer smiled awkwardly at him then turned to face the lunch room. Spotting Alonzo, Pouncival, and Plato, she made her way other to them, "Hey dudes, mind if I join?" The pop bottle she had had on her tray feel off and she quickly picked it up and sat down. Alonzo and the others tried hard to look cool and not notice her. "Thanks," she said once she was seated. She sat next to Plato, "So those soccer try outs were bogus huh?" Plato was moving his tray away from every second little by little and Alonzo and Pouncival were staring at her. "I mean second string come on that's ridiculous. Am I right? Am I right?" She tapped Plato's shoulder and looked at each of them.

When they didn't say anything she cleared her throat and said, "So the game against Cornwall that should be interesting,"

"And why would that be interesting?" Alonzo asked holding a frie in his paw.

"Well, my sister goes there and she used to date that tool Tumblebrutus," All the toms at the table lightened up as soon as she said Tumblebrutus. They were laughing and pointing and having fun. "I know him, I made him cry once during a game," Alonzo laughed.

Rumpleteazer didn't seem too impressed, "Wait that was you?" She asked softly.

"Absolutely, that was so funny," Alonzo replied. Rumpleteazer nodded her head while she looked at Alonzo.

"Is your sister hot?" Pouncival asked then looked at her.

Rumpleteazer was caught completely out guard, "Aaa…I guess so," seeing the chance to make herself look good, "she has a great personality," she smiled at Pouncival.

"Eww," Pouncival snarled and looked away. "Incoming," Pouncival said through a cough. Plato spun around in his chair and Alonzo and Pouncival looked over Rumpleteazer's head. Rumpleteazer turned with them and saw Bombalurina and a new queen, one she finds out later as Demeter.

"Check out the booty on that red beauty," Plato practically jumped out of his chair and looked at her.

"Don't talk about her that way," Alonzo pointed at her.

"Oh she your girlfriend?"

"He wishes," Pouncival laughed then stopped when his eyes meet Alonzo's.

"Until recently she was dating this college guy but he dumped her and I hear she's a total mess right now like really vulnerable. Confidence, self esteem, is way down," Plato spoke.

Rumpleteazer had been watching her and gave her many sympathetic looks. Bombalurina gazed at her for a moment then looked away. Rumpleteazer returned her gaze back to the guys.

"In man words it's time to pounce," Pouncival said. Plato and Pouncival both stood up from their seats gave a high five then sat back down. They all became quiet when Admetus came into the room.

"I hate that guy." Alonzo growled crunching his straw. Admetus was watching the toms as he sat down and gave them all a victorious look as he sat down next to Bombalurina. Bombalurina was looking away from him and speaking softly to Demeter wishing he'd go away. "Did you know baloney is 38% hoof?"

"Thanks Admetus." Bombalurina said grabbing it from him.

"Oh no looks like you got some competition." Rumpleteazer looking over at Alonzo. The toms snickered and Alonzo said dryly, "It's just Admetus."

"Total geek." Plato coughed. Rumpleteazer again looked over at Bombalurina. This time when Bombalurina saw Rumpleteazer looking at her she straightened up and her gazed stayed a little longer.

"She looks so sad. It's heart breaking." Rumpleteazer commented still looking at Bombalurina. All three looked at her with faces that showed they were confused. She turned to guys, "It's just that I can relate, you know? I mean I just got out of a bad relationship too." The toms still looked at her their faces changing into a more understanding look but that went away when Pouncival looked at Alonzo. Rumpleteazer continued, "You think you know someone, and you realize it's all been a big lie." Rumpleteazer took her gaze away from the guys and her sights drifted off, "Every touch, every kiss,"

The three had had enough. Plato took his tray and made a quick exit. Alonzo and Pouncival took their sacked lunches and left milliseconds after him. Rumpleteazer was back to reality, "You know cuz you can never get chicks to shut up," she said trying to cover for herself. She swore under her breath as she realized that they weren't going back, "Ok guys, I'll catch up with ya later." She said to them as they left but it was mostly to herself.

As night fell Rumpleteazer snuck into the bathroom and looked around quickly. Seeing no one, "An empty shower." She went quickly over to the sink and set her stuff down. Starting to take off her chest wrappings she said to herself in a happy tone, "I get to take a shower. I get to take a shower."

Just then someone came in and gasped at the sight of her, "Admetus, door director." He pointed at her feet, "Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times except when in the actual shower." Rumpleteazer who was covering her chest with her arms rolled her eyes as she realized she hadn't been caught.

Admetus went off talking about the bathroom regulations when Alonzo came in and snapped a towel around Admetus' neck. Hearing a snap Admetus' paw went up to his forehead and made some painful high pitched sound. Rumpleteazer watched him and turned as he walked past her to the empty sink next to her, "Sup dog?" Rumpleteazer said trying to keep her cool.

"Yeah what's up hommie?" Alonzo said in a mock tone. Rumpleteazer watched him for a brief moment then gathered her stuff. Grabbing her stuff she made a hasty exit towards the door. Admetus was now not paying attention to either of them and was cleaning himself up, "Hey?"

Rumpleteazer turned to see Alonzo holding her chest wrapping, "You forgot this?" Rumpleteazer grabbed it from him quickly, "Word g-man," and left the bathroom.


	4. Chapter 4

It was dark. There were two teams, Cornwall and Illyria. One member from Cornwall and one from Illyria were fighting over the ball that was going in fast. The member from Illyria hit the ball with his head then elbowed the Cornwall member in the face. He dropped painfully to the ground as other members of both teams continued to take control of the ball. The ball came flying through the air and one Illyria member went to capture it but got kicked in the face instead. Coach Asparagus turned to the bench were the second stringers and injured sat. "Alright Hastings you're up."

Rumpleteazer looked confused at the scene. She mouthed the word, "Up?" Then looked at the other members sitting on the bench.

"Hastings are you deaf?" Coach Asparagus yelled.

Rumpleteazer stood.

"Come on let's go!"

Rumpleteazer looked down at what she was wearing. The dress her mother had picked out for her to wear at the formal ball.

"Get your butt out there!" Coach Asparagus threw down his hat as Rumpleteazer ran past him, "Come on!"

Rumpleteazer started running out to play but got tripped up and fell. Picking herself up quickly she kicked the ball into action. Dodging Cornwall members and still in control of the ball she looked for anyone to help her. Cornwall members dove in front of her, tried to tackle her from behind, anything to get her hurt. One Cornwall member jumped at her, looking like he was going to tackle her when a member from Illyria tackled him in mid air, avoiding Rumpleteazer completely. A few Cornwall players ripped at her dress then Tumblebrutus, who was standing in the goal post, clapped his hands together and said, "Come on baby come on." With an evil smile on his face, Rumpleteazer went to kick it but missed completely and flew up in the air and landed hard on the ground. Everyone laughed at her as she rubbed her head. Then opening her eyes she saw water coming at her face.

Waking up Rumpleteazer coughed as the connection of water to face made itself clear.

"Rise and shine," Pouncival said with a mask on his head. He reached for Rumpleteazer and Alonzo and Plato, who both as well had masks on reached for her. They picked her up and she yelled high pitched, "Hey let go," She slapped a few hands then quickly changed her pitch, "Let go!"

"Welcome to Hell!" Alonzo yelled as flashlights were shinned on the new members of the team in the shower room. The senior members started throwing oatmeal at the newbies.

"Gentlemen," Alonzo spoke out, "let me present this year's soccer newbies!"

The senior members roared out chants and hollered things that sounded like war cries.

"But first," Pouncival said, "You must remove your clothes!"

Rumpleteazer looked worried as she looked at the others around her who were taking off their clothes. As the seniors chanted for them to continue taking off their clothes Rumpleteazer had to think of something. She wasn't going to take off her clothes. Then she dropped to the floor and crawled through the other boys and lifted a dirty hand to the fire alarm. Pulling it down the sprinklers came on and everyone, after they realized that water was hitting them either started to put their clothes back on or tried to avoid getting wet. Rumpleteazer made a quick exit.

* * *

Mistoffelees answered his phone and sat in one of the salon chairs, "Hello? My life sucks." He spun around in the chair.

"I'm done," Rumpleteazer said as she walked outside.

"What?" Mistoffelees asked.

"Everyone thinks I'm a huge freak loser deviant I'll never even see the field against Cornwall and," She smelt in the side of her shirt, "I smell I'm convulsing people." Rumpleteazer whinned to Mistoffelees on the phone.

Mistoffelees was now fixing his hair as he listened to Rumpleteazer said, "Come pick up take me home and made sure I never do anything like this again."

"Look Teazer I don't know what to tell you about the whole soccer team," He snapped his fingers, "But as for the social stuff I got an idea."

Rumpleteazer ran her fingers through her wig, "You do?"

"Yeah," Mistoffelees grinned, "We're going to show everybody the man you really are." He said as he slapped away a hand that tried to touch his hair.

"How we going to do that?"

* * *

Mistoffelees was sitting at a table in the pizza parlor with a hat on and said softly into a microphone, "Go Rumpleteazer." He looked at the door and Rumpleteazer came in acting cool and trying to get others to give her high fives and whatnot.

Alonzo, Plato, and Pouncival were sitting at a table. Alonzo saw Mungojerrie first and moaned and he tried to hide his face, "Oh no," he pointed, "Look who's here." Then continued to hide his face as Pouncival and Plato looked at where he pointed to.

"Foxy mama." Rumpleteazer said to a girl that walked past her.

Pouncival turned back to face his friends, "Alright don't look at him maybe he won't see us."

"Spread out and make it look like we don't have room." Alonzo said. Pouncival leaned back against the corner and brought a leg up to next on the table, Alonzo crossed his arms over his chest and slumped then shoved Plato over to the wall and Plato rested an arm on the booth and on the ledge by the window.

"Sup?" Mungojerrie asked.

The three looked at her briefly then all said at different times, "Sup." Then went back to not looking at her.

"Go Electra." Mistoffelees said into his microphone.

Electra slid out of her booth and walked sensually towards Mungojerrie and the booth where Alonzo, Plato, and Pouncival were.

"Hey Mungojerrie," Electra said opening her arms to give Mungojerrie a hug.

"Hey Electra what's going on?" Mungojerrie said grabbing her ass as they hugged.

One of Plato's eyebrows raised and Alonzo looked confused.

"How you doing baby?" Mungojerrie asked leaning against the booth.

"Not the same without you." Electra said touching Mungojerrie's lips.

"I know," Mungojerrie said, "But you know new school new baby pool."

Plato looked over at Alonzo and mouthed, "Baby pool?" While Alonzo shook his head.

"I miss you Mungojerrie," She grabbed Mungojerrie's hands, "I've been thinking about you a lot. Especially at night,"

Plato and Alonzo looked up at Electra and Mungojerrie. Plato leaned in wanting to know more while Alonzo starred at them with his mouth open.

"Sweet," Mungojerrie said.

"And late," She pressed against Mungojerrie.

"Even better."

Pouncival leaned over to his friends and asked, "Okay did she just say that to Mungojerrie?"

Alonzo shook his head trying to think of what really just happened, "What just happened?" He asked throwing his napkin down onto the table.

Electra and Mungojerrie hugged and Electra said, "Mungojerrie," She whispered into his ear.

"Okay now big mournful sigh," Mistoffelees said as he watched Electra and Rumpleteazer. "Bittersweet farewell you're his play thing baby you're his play thing."

"It's really great to see Mungojerrie," Electra said still holding onto Rumpleteazer's hands. "call me anytime." Electra leaned in to kiss Mungojerrie but Rumpleteazer kissed two of her fingers then placed them on Electra's lips and smiled.

Electra turned and sighed dreamily then walked away and Rumpleteazer watched her go then said to the guys, "I'd tap that."

"Thank you Electra you're gorgeous," Mistoffelees said into his microphone and go Jemima.

"Women." Rumpleteazer said to the guys.

"Yeah," They all said at some point, still baffled that Mungojerrie was about to catch someone like Electra.

Jemima came through the doorway with hanging beads then said, "Mungojerrie is that you?" She asked walking to him. Rumpleteazer turned and said as she hugged Jemima, "Hey what's going on Jemima?"

Alonzo looked completely puzzled, "Okay who's this one?" He asked Pouncival. Plato was busy looking at Jemima and Mungojerrie.

"Our school lost it's gun Mungojerrie Hastings."

"Well," Rumpleteazer rested an elbow on the booth's chair and grabbed Jemima's hand, "There comes a time in every man's life to move along." She wrapped her arms around Jemima's shoulders as she walked into her.

"I know Mungojerrie, in the end I wasn't woman enough for you."

Alonzo looked away with a smile on his face and Plato started to chuckle.

"No you weren't."

"And that's just something I'll just always have to live with." As Jemima said the words to Mungojerrie, Mistoffelees who was sitting at a table observing the whole thing, mouthed the words as they came out of Jemima's mouth.

"It just hurts that's all." Jemima said starting to tear up in her eyes.

"Love is pain." Mungojerrie said.

Jemima grabbed Mungojerrie's waist and pulled him to her, "Just know I'll never forget you Mungojerrie."

Pouncival was watching with an open mouth. And each time Jemima said ever his mouth opened further not believing he heard it.

Jemima turned away from Mungojerrie and looked back at her. Mungojerrie then slapped Jemima's ass and she left crying. Mungojerrie grabbed his belt and pulled up his pants then said as he walked away, "Needy."

What Mistoffelees or Rumpleteazer didn't know was that Griddlebone came in.

"Okay we might have to do a little reevaluating here." Alonzo said.

Pouncival nodded in agreement.

Griddlebone walked up to the booth that they were sitting in.

"Hey there pretty lady." Plato said.

"Eww," Griddlebone said, "What? What are you hitting on me?"

"Ahhhh, just," Plato said.

Griddlebone mocked him, "I was just,"

Alonzo started to chuckle in his seat.

"Okay let me put a stop to that little brain fart right now." Griddlebone said to Plato as he looked at her not knowing what to say.

"Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours."

Alonzo lost it and started laughing.

Griddlebone sighed, "I'm looking for my boyfriend Mungojerrie Hastings have you guys seen him?"

Alonzo sobered quickly then pointed. Griddlebone looked at where he was pointing and saw Mungojerrie walking towards a table. Little did she know it was Rumpleteazer walking to Mistoffelees' table.

"Mungojerrie?"

"Not good," Mistoffelees said he stood and said to Rumpleteazer, "Don't let her get to close or she'll recognize you."

"What am I going to do?" Rumpleteazer asked quickly then grabbed two water pitchers and held them in front of her face and said, "Keep away from me." She said walking away from Griddlebone.

"I beg your pardon?"

Rumpleteazer grabbed a menu, "Okay you know what? Do come any closer Griddlebone," She started moving her hand in front of her face as waitress reached for the menu and took it back, "It's over." Rumpleteazer said turning and walking away.

Griddlebone walked past two people and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"I don't want you crazy." Rumpleteazer said then slipped behind the bar.

"Mungojerrie," Griddlebone said trying to catch up to him. "Get back here."

"You're hot Griddlebone smoking hot."

"Come here." Griddlebone said again being blocked by people standing in the way.

"But there are plenty of hot girls out there." Rumpleteazer said as she walked bent over across the bar. Griddlebone walked on the other side and said, "Come back here."

"And the truth is," Rumpleteazer said standing up and grabbing a large stack of pizzas from a guy and ramming them in front of Griddlebone, "You have nothing left to offer."

Rumpleteazer walked back over close to the booth that her "friends" were sitting in, "And when I close my eyes I see you for what you truly are…and that is ugly."

Alonzo and others in the parlor began to laugh and chuckle.

"We're done."

Griddlebone dropped the stack of pizzas, screamed and grunted frustrated and stormed out.

Alonzo Plato and Pouncival got up from their seats and went to congratulate Mungojerrie.

"You the man." Alonzo said. They headed back to the booth, "Come on guys scoot over and make some room for the man."

Mistoffelees past by and he and Rumpleteazer shared a quick low five as he past by then Rumpleteazer slipped into the booth next to Pouncival.

"You're officially my idol now." Alonzo said raising a hand to Mungojerrie.

Rumpleteazer grabbed it and they shook hands.


	5. Chapter 5

Rumpleteazer was outside heading to her class. Walking towards the stairs some guy said her brother's name and the guys around her patted her shoulders and said that they were proud and they looked up at her while they clapped her performance at Cesario's. As she walked up the stairs the girls said hi and watch her go up the stairs.

"Mungojerrie," Pouncival said running up the stairs.

Rumpleteazer got to the top of the stairs then turned to see Pouncival.

"I need your help man." Pouncival said. "I got lady troubles."

Rumpleteazer smiled and wrapped an arm around her friend, "I hear ya bro, I got a life time of knowledge."

* * *

Rumpleteazer, Alonzo, Plato, and Pouncival were in the science lab. Alonzo sat across from Rumpleteazer, "So how long did you date that girl anyway?"

"To long," Rumplteazer said, "Ball and fricken chain man.

Her phone went off and it played the song "I'm a Barbie girl". Her face changed from a smile to an OMG look and she quickly shuffled through her bag to answer it. The guys started to chuckle lightly.

She flipped it open then shut it.

"Tumblebrea," She said, "Chick won't stop talking to me man." She said to Alonzo.

Alonzo smiled at him then looked at the door and said, "Oh my god,"

Everyone looked at the door and saw Bombalurina and Demeter enter with Admetus following them.

"She's in our class," Alonzo said hiding his face.

Rumpleteazer looked at him, "Dude? Quit blushing." She whispered, "That's lame."

Alonzo dropped his hand and said through a tight jaw, "Shut up I'm not blushing."

The teacher spoke, "Everyone," She came over to Rumpleteazer's table and held out the bucket, "Please take a slip and read off the name of your lab partner."

Alonzo read his slip, "Etcetera Bates."

Pouncival stomped his foot on the floor and looked disappointed.

Etcetera looked over to Alonzo and smiled. Her braces were in full gear and smiled creepily at him. Alonzo nodded his head slowly up at her and waved slightly.

"You gotta be kidding me," Alonzo moaned.

Rumpleteazer slapped his hand, "Be nice."

Pouncival slapped his shoulder with his folder, "Yeah be nice." He looked over at her, "She's got a little something something,"

"Yeah asthma and head gear." Plato chuckled.

Rumpleteazer rolled her eyes. She opened her slip and read it aloud, "Bombalurina Lennox." Then looked over to Bombalurina and waved.

Bombalurina smiled and waved happily at her. Alonzo on the other hand looked at Rumpleteazer and mouthed what then looked over at the smiling Bombalurina.

"Wait you know her?" Alonzo asked.

"Talked to her for like a second,"

"About what?" Alonzo asked, "She gave you the nod."

"Yeah," Pouncival said, "Yeah she did, a good one to."

"Yeah she gives good nods." Plato said.

"Okay," Rumpleteazer said, "Could everyone please just calm down?"

"I can't believe you got her as a lab partner." Alonzo said sadly then said, "Hey switch with me," He grabbed for the piece of paper, "Switch with me."

"I can't," Rumpleteazer whispered, "I said her name out loud." She got up, grabbed her stuff then walked over to where Bombalurina was sitting.

Plato grabbed his stuff then said to Alonzo, "Some guys just walk in the light you know?"

"Hello again." Bombalurina greeted as Rumpleteazer took her seat.

"Hello," Rumpleteazer said. "I don't think we introduced ourselves before, I'm Mungojerrie."

"Bombalurina."

They shook hands. Admetus was sitting on the end of the table making it very obvious that he was listening but trying to look as if he weren't. Alonzo watched Rumpleteazer and Bombalurina as Etcetera slowly slide into the seat on the other side of the table.

"I'm going to be the best lab partner you ever had." She said with large eyes and a big brace filled smiled. Alonzo looked at her then said, "Cool,"

Rumpleteazer leaned on the table, "I gotta be honest,"

Bombalurina leaned in as well.

"The whole dissecting thing kinda freaks me out so uh…think you maybe have to take the ropes on this one."

"Wow," Bombalurina smiled, "Most guys would never admit that."

"Oh crap your right," Rumpleteazer said looking away.

Bombalurina brought her hand down on Rumpleteazer's, "No no don't be," She said, "I think it's refreshing."

"You do?" Rumpleteazer asked.

Admetus then grabbed a piece of paper and held it out in between them, "No paper near the Bunsen burner."

Bombalurina grabbed the paper and Rumpleteazer tried to get it, "No wait,"

"What's this?" Bombalurina asked looking at it, "Poems?"

"Lyrics," Rumpleteazer said, "There his…my, my old stuff."

"Wake up I've been waiting for you," Bombalurina said reading the paper a loud then finished reading it in her mind. She looked up at Rumpleteazer, "These are really good…so honest."

"I know," Rumpleteazer said, "I keep telling him – me meself myself,"

"I write songs to Bombalurina." Admetus said standing.

"Really Admetus that's wonderful." Bombalurina said having her attention on Rumpleteazer.

"Yeah check it out," Admetus said then started singing, "I see you through your window and I'm standing on a tree outside…"

As Admetus continued to sign Rumpleteazer turned away from him as did Bombalurina.

* * *

Alonzo watched Bombalurina and Demeter walk by talking with Admetus following them. He then saw Rumpleteazer coming out of the room and grabbed her jacket and pulled her over to the benches.

"You, you sit." He ordered. He snapped at some guy that was sitting, "You go." The guy started to gather his stuff then Alonzo said again for him to go and once he was gone Alonzo said to Rumpleteazer, "Did you say anything about me?"

"No was I supposed to?" Rumpleteazer asked.

"Come on, this this is perfect, you get to spend an hour with her every other day, you can convince her to go out with me." Alonzo said clentching his fists at the end.

"Dude? She had that opinion for like three and half years."

"Okay I'll tell you what." Alonzo said leaning in closer to Rumpleteazer, "You do this…I'll work with you on your soccer. I'll make you good enough for first-string."

Rumpleteazer eyes widened, "By the Cornwall game?"

"Obsolutely," Alonzo said.

Rumpleteazer smiled and said, "Okay yeah you got a deal."

Alonzo held out his fist for Rumpleteazer to bump, "You the man."

Rumpleteazer bumped it, "Yes I am."


End file.
